Give a Little Love to Grief

Grief is defined as an intense emotional, physical, and cognitive response.

That response can be due to the physical loss of a loved one, or to life changes such as divorce or job loss.

But do we ever fully discuss the grief caused by hope deferred, or the grief of what we anticipated something to be, yet it isn’t.

This Mother’s Day, I found myself in a unique moment that placed me in confusion and turmoil over my heart’s desires.

The desire of motherhood has always been a thing that I nestled closely in my heart, but something about this year just felt different, it felt heavy.

Here it is 12:43 am, I’ve officially crossed over into the next day, yet there is still a tug in my heart, a longing, a undescrible pain.

One that’s been an up and down battle all day, where I’ve struggled trying to wrap my mind around what exactly I was feeling and experiencing.

Funny how the heart works.

You can be genuinely happy for others while silently grieving something that isn’t quite a loss but an unspoken desire and expectation.

My heart goes out to those in waiting, to those grieving miscarriages, still births, and the physical absence of their little ones that are gone too soon.

It’s a pain that words can’t really describe.

It is a sadness that bubbles up, and gives your stomach that anxious feeling similar to that of a rollercoaster ride.

No one can really prepare you for the moment grief arrives.

It’s unexpected, and it is a thing that really forces you to give it space, to respect it.

As I process what I feel, and move through the unexpected grief Mother’s Day has brought me to experience, my heart smiles yet holds sorrow.

It is amusing how two things can be so joyful yet painfully true at the same time.

I have no positive, inspiring words to close out these random thoughts.

Only raw feelings, pure emotions, silent questions, a bit of uncertainty, and that’s okay.

My only desire, was to express my still, painful thoughts aloud, and to let other women know that they are not alone.

It is in that space, I have decided to do is this:

Give Room In Emotional Fickleness

I pray your heart, our hearts, remain in expectation, even as grief exists. Because two things can certainly be true at the same time.

With Love,

Key