In my opinion, rejection is one of the many subjects that we simply just skip over. We all suffer from it, in many different forms, but yet we constantly suffer in silence.
Whether you feel the emotion of rejection from a parent, spouse, friend, sibling, boss, or even a stranger, it is one that can quickly make you feel less than and cause you to be very irrational in your thinking and decision making. It can cause destructive and unfavorable behavior such as attention seeking, isolation, and sexual promiscuity, just to name a few.
It is an emotion that we combat throughout various parts of our daily lives and as times change, we are subject to it, now more than ever. The advancement of technology can cause a person to feel rejected just with the ignoring of a text message, direct message, post, etc.
To the insecure male or female, rejection is even felt based upon how many likes you do or do not receive via social media. We will plan out the “perfect” time for posting or even delete an item previously posted, just because, the post did not receive the attention that we hoped for.
I say we, because, I am not absent from these scenarios. As a matter of fact, a rising feeling of rejection is what actually what led to the creation of this blog. It is my hope that shedding light on this subject will aid you in being more attentive to your feelings and behavior when rejection arises.
So, how do you overcome the destructive behaviors of rejection?
1) Like any issue, addiction, or unfavorable behavior, you must first come to the realization that you have a problem. Let’s be real, we cannot conqueror something we are in denial about. At the count of three, let’s say it together. 1 – 2 – 3, I (insert YOUR name) battle with rejection. (See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?)
2) Slow down. A person who is heavily filled with rejection is very quick to react. However, take a moment to slow down (count to 10 if you have to), take a deep breath, and recognize what is (or what it may be) that’s triggering you and why. Most importantly, recognize when you are under attack so that you can successfully win the battle.
3) Be honest with yourself. I hate to be so frank, but here is a harsh reality, you ARE the problem. When it comes to rejection, you are constantly in INNER conflict with yourself. It’s a fight between your reality and the actual reality of the situation.
4) Journal. Write down how you feel and when you feel it. Once you slow down you will be able to prevent your destructive behavior. No, you are not keeping a “diary” per say. However, you are writing down how you feel so that you are able to channel those emotions elsewhere. It prevents word vomit. Everything that comes to mind does not need to exit your mouth.
Overcoming rejection is a constant and continuous battle. But with the implementation of the steps above, you will learn how to control yourself in a healthier manner. One that is not destructive and self-sabotaging one. It will not be easy, and the change will not happen overnight, but IT WILL HAPPEN. As a result, you will create new habits and find healthy ways to counteract your negative behavior.