Never in a million years would I have guessed that my head space would be so clear and peaceful just before my thirtieth birthday.
I don’t know if you remember this or not but my birthday blog last year entitled, Cheers to 29: Just in Time, was a heart wrenching goodie that detailed my hardship with coming to grips with where I was in life versus the expectations of where I assumed I would be at a specific age.
Don’t get me wrong, leading up to my thirtieth birthday, I’ve still had a moment or two.
So just to clear the air and remove any doubts, NO, everything is NOT and was NOT perfect.
Yes, the enemy ATTEMPTED to creep in and steal my joy but overall, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, I am in a completely different and healthier head space and environment.
This time last year, I found myself wallowing in my own sorrows for way too long.
It seemed as if I felt everything but happiness and as a result, depression slowly began to creep in.
As I reflect back over my life, last year, in comparison to this year, I am extremely grateful for how God has literally carried me through the final year of my twenties with such GRACE.
Throughout this year, I’ve accomplished so much, and that alone has kept me with a grateful heart that rejoices for all Sweet Baby Jesus saw fit to transpire.
I can proudly, yet humbly, say I am ending year 29 with a BIG BANG!
In July, after much stress and ALMOST giving up, I closed on my FIRST home.
Boy, was that process a world-wind but through it all, God taught me how to go deeper in my trust in Him and ultimately developed my patience in ways I could not imagine.
I don’t quite remember asking for the area of my patience to be improved upon, but that’s neither here nor there.
The process of purchasing a home is a complete blog post within itself so more deets to come in the future!
In anticipation of what is to come, here’s a small detail on the story… I began the process of not only purchasing but building my first home in December 2018 and closed in July 2019.
That’s 7 months, talk about a test of faith!
In September, I received my first official (competitive) promotion after applying for the initial announcement in April.
That’s 5 months, again, talk about a test of faith!
No worries, that topic will come with its own separate blog as well. Because as I waited “patiently” for ONE job to come through, I turned DOWN two.
Turning down not one, but two jobs, without seeing and knowing if I had truly landed the job I was “waiting” on was probably one of the second hardest things I’ve ever done in my life.
Right now, building and purchasing a home is still ranked number Uno.
As you can gather, year 29 has been a humongous test of faith that demanded my trust and reach for God go deeper.
Over this year, God has intentionally broke me and stripped me of the ability to think I could do everything all on my own.
God has broken my inability to cry out for Him on days that seem to be full of never ending stress and turmoil.
Overall, God broke my lack of vulnerability in and to Him.
So many times, we pray specific prayers for God to touch one thing and in turn He decides to touch another.
It often feels as though we are being backed into a corner and we find ourselves with the wondering thought of, “this is NOT what I gave you clearance on.”
In the mist of that thought, we forget that when we made the decision and commitment to walk with Christ, there is and NEVER will be an area that is out of His reach and off limits.
Although, I never asked nor prayed for my patience to be improved DESPITE knowing my ability to wait and be vulnerable were absolutely piss pour, it was exactly what I needed.
I waited 5 months for my first official competitive promotion and 7 months to close on my first home.
The number 5 in the spiritual realm represents Grace, and the number 7 represents completion.
I am closing out year 29 knowing that God’s GRACE pushed me to a new realm of COMPLETION.
Not just for me, but for my family.
Today, I celebrate my walk into a new decade. New curses will be broken, and LEGACY will be established.