"The Wedding Process"

April 11, 2019

 

Hey Yall,

 

I’m so happy we have a chance to sit and talk. As promised this week is The Wedding Process”, and I want to focus on three types of people the bride, the groom, and the supporters.

 

Let’s start with the bride first since that is my area of expertise.

 

Brides, I’m going to give you my best advice for different stages during the wedding process.

 

BRIDES:

 

1. Go to premarital counseling… GO TO PREMARITAL COUNSELING!!!! (Proverbs 19:20)

 

2. When it comes to the cost of your special day remember it doesn’t matter how much you spend, you don’t earn marriage points. (Titus 2:5)

 

We want to build marriages that LAST LONGER than the wedding and reception.

 

Spend your efforts discovering what it takes to be the BEST wife for your husband because that is where you get credit.  

 

3. Protect your peace so you can BE your future husband’s peace! (James 3:18)

 

Now this is my unpopular opinion you can take it, leave it, or throw it away if you want.

 

Being a bridezilla is not the worst thing that can happen.

 

I know y’all are saying now married friend I DO NOT AGREE, but let me explain first.

 

Let me give bridezilla a working definition.

 

Brides it is okay to be specific about what you are paying for. It is okay to tell people if you cannot be happy for me and encourage me in this moment please DISMISS yourself.

 

Brides it is okay to tell someone they are not invited!

 

Brides it is okay to use your voice (respectfully), and NOT let people run over you.

 

This is all a part of protecting your peace.

 

So by all means be a bridezilla! 

 

GROOMS:

 

1. Go to premarital counseling… GO TO PREMARITAL COUNSELING!!!! (Proverbs 19:20)

 

2. When it comes to the cost of your special day remember it doesn’t matter how much you spend, you don’t earn marriage points. (Ephesians 5:25)

 

We want to build marriages that last longer than the wedding and reception.

 

Spend your efforts discovering what it takes to be the BEST husband for your wife that’s where you get credit.  

 

3. Keep the order! (1 Timothy 3:4)

 

If you see people trying to create chaotic situations or bring drama to you and your future wife, protect her and your future household from chaos.

 

Weddings are always deemed as a day for the bride so it is possible for grooms to THINK they can leave it in her hands unattended.

 

NO!

 

Keeping order is not limited to stopping drama at the door, but also keeping order with the budget.

 

Keep the order by having a cut off time for both of you to say after this hour or on this day we will NOT do wedding planning, we will FOCUS on US.

 

Keep the order NEVER let your wedding take precedent over the marriage you will have afterwards. 

 

SUPPORTERS:

 

1. This day is NOT about you!

 

Please before you unload all of your personal concerns that may or may not have to do with the wedding remember that two people are making a life changing decision and entering into a covenant with God.

 

You are NOT more important than that. Unload on someone else to give them a break. 

 

2. STOP asking “Where is my invite?”

 

If you are truly happy for the couple you will be happy no matter what, because you know that this day is not about you!

 

Asking questions like this only add stress to the couple.

 

Furthermore it is RUDE! 

 

3. Pray for them.

 

If you feel like they have a bad attitude that day pray for them as they deal with “The Wedding Process”.

 

If you don’t have money for a gift, pray for them.

 

PRAY that they will have a long lasting marriage guided by the Word of God.

 

If you didn’t get an invite, PRAY that they post enough pictures later on so you can FEEL like you were there. 

 

Now, because we are friends SOUND OFF! Let me know what you would add or subtract from this list!

 

Signed,

 

Your Married Friend 

 

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About the Writer: Ebony Spencer

 

 I’m Ebony. I wear many different crowns I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a teacher, a wife, and a mother. In my 26 years a lot has happened. I’ll just give you all the basics right now, and hope you’ll come back for the rest. I am the creator of My Sister’s Reflection. It was a concept that came right after I graduated college. I wanted to create a new narrative for black women. I wanted to tell the real stories behind our pain, our smiles, and our beauty. I started doing interviews and kept doubting myself, so I never shared my blog. Then life hit me hard. On May 26th, 2018 my 2 month old son David Charles passed away. My commitment to life has changed drastically! I now fully understand that the tomorrow you planned for is not promised. I realized that someone out there needs to know that someone in your same position made it through, and so can you.

 

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Website: www.mysistersreflection.com

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Email: mysistersreflection@gmail.com

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