Have you ever found yourself in a habitual cycle of unhealthy habits?
Maybe you weren’t quite sure what the root of the problem was but you were honest enough with yourself in identifying there was a problem.
In your honest self-assessment, you recognized that maybe you needed help to pinpoint what was going on, how to break the habitual habit, and guidance in determining what the TRUE ROOT of the cycle was.
Well….about two years ago, I must admit, THIS WAS ME.
I slowed down to analyze my life and my decisions and realized, I HAD A PROBLEM and that I needed help determining specifically what that problem was and HOW I continued to get myself into the same types of situations.
Now, outside looking in, you wouldn’t have noticed.
To pause for a quick second, we all do a GREAT JOB at masking and never confronting our hidden struggles.
For a very long time, I NEVER noticed any of my dysfunction and when I initially began to notice something was wrong, I PASSED the blame.
But as time went on, passing the blame and playing the victim were NO LONGER an option.
I had to personally regroup and digest MY OWN role in being a part of the problems in my life.
Eventually, with the help of my therapist, I realized that everything was a deeply rooted HEART issue.
Have you ever heard the saying, “You ARE what you attract?”
We may never want to admit it, BUT it’s true. Unhealthy people will attract other unhealthy people and broken people will attract other broken people.
After playing a very tuff tug-a-war battle in therapy, for the first time in my life, I could admit that I WAS BROKEN.
No matter how much I smiled on the outside, INSIDE, I was hurting.
INSIDE, I was broken. INSIDE, I struggled with self-worth. INSIDE, I battled depression.
INSIDE, I fought loneliness. INSIDE, I doubted who God called me to be.
You see, INSIDE, a lot of broken things had taken residence in MY HEART and it was beyond time to serve those things an eviction notice.
With all of these things lying at rest in my heart, it HEAVILY EFFECTED the type of people I allowed into my life AND the manner in which I allowed them in.
As a result, many areas of my life lacked the proper boundaries.
A lack of boundaries can cause you to give too much too soon and give time, attention, and energy to those undeserving.
Did you know that a lack of boundaries can establish premature connections that can eventually lead to soul ties?
This goes for BOTH romantic and platonic relationships. Your question may be how, and that’s perfectly okay.
So let’s talk about it.
Consider this, have you ever felt as if you’ve known someone for YEARS but in reality it’s ONLY been a few weeks or maybe months?
That is establishing a premature and unguarded connection.
True enough, with some connections you will genuinely “hit it off”. But in all circumstances, utilize the WISDOM and DISCERNMENT God has given.
If we’re HONEST, we can admit that we can’t trust our feelings, nor can we always trust our heart.
Because number one, feelings are fickle and number two IF our heart is NOT healed and healthy, we will NOT make sober decisions.
In this generation, we are in such a rush to build lifetime connections that we FAIL to realize the longtime damage taking place when things don’t exactly pan out the way we expected.
And later because we lacked the proper care in the beginning, we harbor those feelings, that bitterness, and resentment within our hearts.
Proverbs 4:23 says this, “Guard your heart above all else, for It determines the course of your life.”
I don’t know about you but that sounds pretty serious to me!
Through counseling, I learned to fully confront my dysfunctional behavior and discovered the ROOT of it ALL.
It all began with understanding the FULL POWER in knowing MY WORTH.
After, my therapist and I finished playing tug-a-war with this specific area of my life, I knew what was going on and how to fix it.
We WILL deal with the specifics another time.