Throughout the younger years of my life, I spent a lot of time harping on my lack of a relationship with my father. For years, I questioned my value and my worth. As a child, I could not wrap my mind around why he was never there the way I desired or the way I felt like he should be.
It felt as if I had a void, like something was missing.
Despite having a “father figure” in my life, nothing changed or removed the hurt, the pain, the anger, and the confusion that was felt.
As a matter of fact, because my step-father was not very present in the lives of his children from a previous marriage, I did not view him any differently from my own father. I could relate to every feeling his children felt. The feelings of abandonment, rejection, and simply not feeling deserving of my father’s love.
Yes, he was physically present in our home, but the situation was just the same; he (my stepfather) was there supporting some children, but not present in the lives of them all. Therefore, in my eyes, they were the same person, semi skipping out on the responsibility of being the father that their children needed.
That feeling of abandonment, from the lack of my father’s love, began to ring in my mind as I studied my devotional for today.
The devotional focused on Hebrews 3 and its encouragement to fix our thoughts on Jesus. Now, I know it that sounds cliché, but hear me out.
Our mind is very easily influenced by toxic and negative thoughts.
Because of that, it is also easy for our thoughts to stray away from our Heavenly Father. Instead of recognizing that the lack of a person’s presence was a part of God’s plan for our lives, we begin to question ourselves.
We search for deficiencies within by asking what’s wrong with us or what we did wrong to cause a lack of presence because someone was not there the way we expected or needed. We desperately seek the answers within ourselves instead of turning to God.
There are many references in the Bible of God being Abba, our father. (SeeGalatians 4:6; Mark 14:36; Romans 8:15)
And had I known then, what I know now, I would have recognized that despite my earthly father’s lack of physical presence, I had a Heavenly Father who promised to never leave nor forsake me. I would have understood that God designated my father’s lack of presence to be an area for me to overcome in my life.
It was never a situation designed to hold me down, tear me down, nor slow me down, but instead to build me up. It was a part of my testimony and a picture much bigger than me. However, to get to this place of understanding, I had to strive and fight to block out and remove all toxic thoughts that so strongly polluted my life.
I began to recognize that God understood my life far better than I ever would and I fixed my thoughts on Him, knowing that each and every situation was intended to work out for my good (Romans 8:28).
In filtering toxins and self-spoken word curses out of my life, I began to speak God’s truth about my identity in Him. His word says that we are above and not beneath, that we are the head and not the tail, that we are the lender and not the borrower, and that we are fearfully and wonderfully made in His Image.
Always remember, you are a child of the Most High God, a true and living God, who wants nothing but the best for you. As you work to cancel the toxic thoughts and emotions in your life, especially those wounds from “daddy issues”, pay attention to how differently your life is when you focus your thoughts on what is true and good rather than negativity and misperceptions introduced to your idle mind by the deceitful tricks of the enemy.