The burden of unforgiveness is like none other. In the moment, we never realize how unhealthy it is to harbor feelings of hate, anger, pent up emotions, and even resentment until after we've released of the thing that stops us from being free. There are moments and experiences that you will rob yourself of by not forgiving those who've wronged or hurt you. The life of the person that you refuse to forgive does not stop moving because you are upset, so why would you block your blessings or hold yourself hostage because of the actions of another person? I know, I know, now that you've asked yourself the question, the logic behind the thought may no longer make sense but for those of you that are still not convinced, let's move forward to specifics.
Your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend cheated on you in 2012 but you're still angry. He or she has moved on but you’re still somewhere miserable and alone. That one wasn't for you? Okay, well how about the friend you no longer associate with because of some guy or girl that no longer matters. Neither of you have spoken to each other for months, maybe even years, all because of a person and situation that is no longer relevant. Was that still not it? Let's try this one. Your family member, or friend, borrowed money from you but they're out spending freely and haven't quite gotten around to paying you back so you cut them off. Not just financially but the entire relationship as well. Those examples are just a few of many that cause us to harbor feelings of unforgiveness. But I have news for you! There is light at the end of the tunnel.
We’ve all been in situations where we’ve felt as though the action or actions of another person were completely unforgivable. But in order to reap the full benefits of the things God has in store for your life you must forgive. In Matthew 18:21-22 it states, “Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!” It is written in clear context that no matter how many times we are mistreated, we must forgive. So how does one conquer this thing of unforgiveness?
1. Accept the apology you may never receive. I know how craziness this sounds but forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you! The Word of God says that you must forgive others so that He may forgive you!
2. Forgive you; yes, you! Do not continue to beat yourself up about the should’ve, could’ve, and would’ve situations in life. The situation is over. Learn where you got off course and watch for the warning signals so that you refrain from getting off course again.
3. Deal with the situation(s) that have caused you to live in unforgiveness but do so alone, God did not intend for everything to be dealt with and talked out with people. Some situations have to solely be handled with you and Him, alone. In this space, you can (well you must) be honest with yourself and vulnerable with Him.
Follow those steps with the sole purpose of being free and reaching the destiny, blessings, and benefits that God has in store for you. If the road of forgivness ever gets too tough, just have a flashback to all of your personal wrongdoings, whether the incidents occurred against people or God, and remember someone forgave you too.