I’ve gone back and forth as to whether or not it would be a good idea to tackle this topic head on, however, I received such an eye-opening revelation from a conversation with friends, that I decided to go forth despite my reservations.
So, let’s get to it…
When having a conversation about toxic relationships, people, and overall breaking cycles, a friend and I came to the conclusion that in our “younger” years, we really thought it was something to have guys “comeback”.
Now, “comeback”, is certainly open to interpretation, but I’ll leave that for you to figure out.
No matter the circumstances of the “comeback”, I bragged and boasted amongst my inner self, because during that time, I really thought that was something to be proud of. But what I failed to realize is, that I left an open door for my past to always creep back in.
No matter the amount of time that has passed, no matter how stressful the situation was, no matter how toxic and unhealthy the connection was, the door was always open.
When having this present-day conversation with friends, immediately, I was convicted. God plainly said, “There is no comeback, you were weak.” Taken by surprise, that revelation cut very deep. Because the harsh reality of the situation is, I was weak.
I struggled with knowing my worth, my value, and in turn, I sacrificed my virtue all because I lacked the ability to set proper boundaries and give a solid no. All because, the perspective I had of myself, and how I “felt” love, was skewed.
My silent desire for attention, and my way of thinking was in fact toxic and harmful. I consistently invited toxic people and situations into my life due to fears of being rejected, alone, and “not enough”.
Eventually, I recognized that my life was constantly enduring a cycle that, I, myself did not know how to stop it. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. However, with the help of counseling, I discovered that my toxic thinking and lack of self-worth caused a relationship cycle that was harmful to my well-being.
It also caused an inability to have healthy romantic relationships, because in time, my unhealthy patterns and beliefs would cause me to self-sabotage. Things would be great, but I would find something to argue about. My way of thinking was unhealthy, and my ability to want to protect self would instead cause more harm than good.
The person and I would separate romantically but would continue to have intercourse (“the comeback”).
Nothing about the situation was right, but, we all have lessons to learn. So, before you boast and brag about your “comeback” game. Think about what that truly means.
Learn to acknowledge your part in your own demise and shift to understand and receiving God’s love for you first; not people.